Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
