you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
