just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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