dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
