i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
