I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
