I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
