Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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