apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
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i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
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It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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