Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
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I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize