I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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