he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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