Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
