Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
