I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize