i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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