I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
