The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
