After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
