i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
