you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
