He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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