Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize