HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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