I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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