I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
