He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize