My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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