So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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