Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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