My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
