Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
