i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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