Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize