Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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