let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
