Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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