i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
