i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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