All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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