I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize