We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
