I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
