Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
