i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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