i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
