There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
