awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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