Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
