I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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