No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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