Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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