I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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