Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
