I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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