Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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