Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
