I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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