I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
