I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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