My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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