she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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