The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
