I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
