I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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