i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
