My room smells like vodka and shame
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
