I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize