do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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