hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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